Relationships can be incredibly challenging. Perhaps you feel alone even when you are right next to your partner. Maybe you don’t trust your spouse. You might not feel like your partner understands, respects, or even listens to you. Your relationship might be filled with blaming, defensiveness, betrayal, and contempt. You may experience tremendous pain in your relationship and not have hope that things can get better.
If you identify with any of these descriptions, you are not alone. Couples regularly struggle with these kinds of issues and get stuck in unhealthy patterns. Couples counseling and marriage counseling help break these patterns to build trust, reconnect, and create more harmony. So, there may be hope for you too.
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What will relationship counseling be like?
We specialize in working with couples in conflict. Whether you are married, thinking about long-term commitment, dating, or romantically involved, couples counseling can provide the support that allows you to create the relationship that you want. We provide a safe space that can help you grow as a couple and individually. We will help you identify the strengths that are already present in your relationship and use them to transform your weaknesses. Together, we will learn skills to help you communicate more effectively, manage conflict, heal from disagreements, regulate your emotions, and get your needs met. We will also practice these tools in session for optimal integration. Click here to learn some relationship skills right now! Talking about your marriage can be daunting, but we believe the rewards are worth it! With dedication, not only will you experience less suffering in your relationship, but also more meaning and joy.
Are you the right marriage counselor for me?
First of all, you can never know for sure unless you try it. It is a risk to see a new counselor because you don’t really know how it is going to go. Marriage counseling is a big step! You may be in a vulnerable, confusing, and overwhelming place in your life. We want to do what we can to make you feel comfortable and have our time together be worth it for you.
We have an abundance of experience helping families heal. Coming to couples counseling can be quite daunting and we endeavor to have your experience be as transformative as possible.
Can I afford couples counseling?
If you are like most people, then you don’t want to spend money if it is not worth it to you. So, we recommend reflecting on how much your relationship is worth to you. How much does your relationship impact your life? Is it worth it to you to experience love, understanding, and respect from your partner? What would it mean to you to have your relationship be a source of meaning, support, and joy?
If your relationship is important to you, then marriage counseling will likely help. Certainly, counseling is an investment of time and money. Taking these steps to heal your relationship might profoundly improve your life, your partner’s life, and the lives of your children.
What if my partner isn’t interested in marriage counseling?
Unfortunately, this is a common dynamic that people experience. Often, one person in the relationship is less interested in coming to counseling. If you are in that situation, don’t worry. Coming to counseling on your own can make a huge impact on your relationship. Counseling will encourage your growth, where you become more you. That may sound strange, but that is what we hear from clients again and again: “I feel like I’m more me.” By you going through your own change process, it can’t help but change the relationship.
In addition to your own growth, marriage counseling teaches you relationship tools, that directly impact your relationship. You learn how to repair your relationship after an argument, express your wants or needs clearly, and regulate your own emotions so your fights aren’t so explosive… there are many skills that can improve your marriage that you can implement all by yourself.
Lastly, you can model how you want the other person to be in the marriage. For example, perhaps you both have a hard time apologizing. By sincerely apologizing for something that you regret, you invite your partner to do the same. By showing up differently, your partner may detect these changes in you, which may spark their curiosity in their own personal growth and counseling.
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